PROGRESS!!

We got a call from our social worker last night and we have meetings with her in two weeks! She is going to meet with us in her office first and we are meeting with her separately. I knew that she would do an interview with us one at a time but I thought it would be in our home. So I am a little relieved that it will not be in our home (although she will be coming over at some point). At the same time the individual interviews not being in our home make me a little nervous.

Personally I know that I will do fine in the interview and give all of the right answers. I am not trying to be cocky or think that I am perfect but I always interview well, I retain information really well, and I have been through one of these interviews before. My husband, however, gets nervous easy and you can see that nervousness all over his body. He might be better off if this was in our home where he is more comfortable. I am sure that all will be fine though. My interview is the day before his, so I can come home and go over the questions with him and help him prepare for his interview.

This is such a huge leap forward from where we have been and this means that we are getting very close to finishing our licensing process. Soon, we will be parents! (by soon I mean some time this year)

So whats left now? We still need to get all of our background check information in (we have Paul's, I am just finishing writing out a statement, and my letter is on the way to us and then I need to write out a statement). We have our first interviews scheduled for 2 weeks from now, and then its the home visit and that I think that just might be it!! All done! Of course, often times we have to do a second home visit because we could be missing something. I will be going over the check list and making sure that we have everything, anything that we are missing I will pick up when we get our income taxes back, likely to be February 1st. We will also be getting a van with our tax return. We cant wait for this new chapter in our lives to start!

Excitement!

I couldn't be more excited! Our background checks came back, and that is a huge step forward for us! It has been one of my big fears, that something from our past would pop up on a background check and our path to parenthood would come to a halt. We are pleasantly surprised.

Although while reading through our next steps I hear Ricky saying "Lucy, you have some explaining to do" its not as bad or as scary as I feared and the person that is going through all of our information for this part of it is really nice and easy to work with.

So, next up for us is to get a hold of some documents (already sent for), write out some statements (already mostly done), turn those things in and then we should be to the home visit. Things should really start moving fast now!

In a few short months, we WILL be parents!

Our little girl, our first child....she is out there, we just have to find her and bring her home.

Long Time, No Post....

I know, its been a long time since I last posted and I keep saying that I am gong to get better at posting more often. Well, here is a quick list of things that have happened since my last post:

I am now a supervisor at work.

I am working on loosing weight (still/again).

My Dad came to visit for Thanksgiving, it was sooooo good to see him!

I have started couponing and even did a class on it at work.

All of our adoption papers are finally in and today we go to get our finger prints. We still have a long road in front of us, well maybe not so long. I really depends on what comes back on our FBI checks and what we will need to get. Its likely going to be a bit of calling/writing to courts to get documents if they exist. I talked to the woman who does the checks and she also agreed that she doesn't see anything that we listed that could cause any major issues, a few more hoops to jump through, but no major issues. (yes, I am still nervous about that, nervous about anything that could lead to a no)

Paul and I are trying to stop talking about having a child as a "future child" or anything of the sort and trying to start talking about the fact that we do have a child but that our child is not living with us right now and that we are doing everything we can to bring her home. For the moment we have decided that we will only adopt one child, a girl. Later on we will likely adopt again.

Since we have been getting ourselves into the thought pattern that we have a daughter and that she is just not here right now, I have picked up several things for her. Nothing big, just little things that any girl would like. Hair accessories, nail polish and things like that. Of course, with couponing I was able to get these items free or nearly free. That really excites me because I know that I will be able to get her all sorts of little things that make a little girl fee special. I cant wait till she is here!

Maybe, Maybe, MAYBE!!!

I think we have found the perfect apartment. Although we had said that we wanted to move into a house we have been looking at apartments just to make sure that we don't miss out on some great deal. Its a 3 bedroom, 2 bath, bottom floor, wood burning fireplace, out door pool, dry sauna, hot rub, work out room, indoor basketball court/fitness room, gated community, washer/dryer, huge freaking apartment.

So if you cant tell I am excited, but I am nervous too. What if something comes up and we cant move in. I know the lady said "worse case scenario you will pay first, last, and deposit but we will work with you on the last and give you 3 months to pay it" and she seemed very positive that we will get the apartment. But, I am cautious and am trying not to count my chickens before they hatch while staying positive.

Half way through PRIDE classes!

Well today marks it! We are now half way through the PRIDE classes. Next month we have our first aide, blood born diseases and CPR for all ages. Our savings account is still growing at a good rate and we are really excited about moving, although we have still not found the right place. Really, its that we haven't found the right place at the right price, every place that we have found that would be good has been about $100 our of our budget and we have to really stick to it. If we can stick to our budget then we can continue to save money, get bills paid, have food on the table, and still have some fun too.


As far as class goes, this class was a little more intense and I am not expecting everyone to show up next class. It did seem that we were missing 1 or 2 people this week but I cant put my finger on who. Some people have done the fost/adopt or foster thing before and they are in it and know what they are getting into, some are like us and did a lot of research and know what we are getting into and others are very green and worry me. Of course, "teacher" showed up again.

It seems that "teacher" doesn't irritate me as I heard some naughty comments coming from someone else in the class. She has a very snide way about her and every time someone says something positive about teachers and how they help kids she looks around the room with this snobby look on her face as though she is personally responsible for every positive act that any teacher on the face of the planet has ever done. Not to mention the fact that she always has something to say that no one cares about and no one wants to hear. There are other people in the class that always seem to have something to say but its usually the other people who have fostered and/or adopted before and most times they have something useful to add. Whats more interesting is that I find myself adding in comments as well, more than I thought I would, but I have been doing a lot of studying and researching.



Most of the class was about attachment and attachment disorders in children as well as how to deal with some of those things. We also talked about trauma, abuse and other such things as well as watching a rather disturbing video. Something else that keeps coming up that bothers me is when they start talking about failed adoptions and kids being moved from home to home. I just cant figure out how you would have a failed adoption. I mean once you get that far how can you "give the kid back" I mean, life doesn't work that way and for those that think that it does....I have other words for you. I know that once we are placed, thats that.

Fingers crossed!

We just took a drive down this little dirt road near a for rent sign. At the end of this little bitty drive way that is covered in trees and ferns and all sorts of Washington underbrush was this cute 3 bedroom house that over looks the pond in Bresemann Forest. There were massive sized hammocks hanging in trees and we could just imagine living there. It is, however, slightly out of our price range, not an impossible distance but far enough to make me squirm a bit. I tried to get a viewing of the inside of it today but no luck, I will try again tomorrow. Fingers crossed!!

Today is the first day of our classes!

Last night I was super super sick. It started at work, I threw up once and then started feeling better, that is until we had dinner. After dinner I started having chills, sweating and my whole body hurt. I was terrified that I would feel like that this morning too. So I went to bed. I piled on the blankets and buried my head in them hoping for some sort of relief. A few hours later we were woken up by a super loud argument going on out side that felt like it lasted for hours, and I felt even worse. Then, after hours and hours of sleep (I went to bed around 6pm and got up at 5:30am, which is sleeping in for me) my alarm clock went off and I got up. I still have a headache and my back hurts (due to my bed) but I don't feel sick any more!!

This week went by so slow for me, knowing that the classes start today, but we are finally here. I talked to someone from the NWAE.org the other day and got some interesting information about what they do and how it all works, and that has me even more excited. There are kids on their site that I really like and that I want to meet. I haven't told Paul too much about them because he doesn't like to see something, get excited about it and then have it not work out. Until we get our classes done and the homestudy done there really isn't any reason to get to involved in looking at kids. The NWAE really makes it very easy and they are very helpful. They, like everyone else, did tell me about how its harder to adopt through foster care directly than it is to go through an agency. Although I do understand why they are saying that, its way cheaper (as in free) to adopt through the state and since I already have my eye on a set of kids that are on the NWAE website, that cuts out some of the hard stuff.

Yes, I am sure that it might be easier to hand over a wad of money to an agency and tell them to find you kids with certain qualities and let them match you up, but it makes much more sense to me to do this our way. We would rather save that wad of money to spend on kids and I would rather find them myself. As I learned from my Dad a long time ago, the easy way is not always the right way and many times is the wrong way. While looking through the children that are posted on sites like NWAE.org I try very hard to not look at their disabilities and things (should they have any) and try to focus on who they are. Doing it that way makes much more sense to me, after all, if I were pregnant, would we reject our child due to a disability. Of course at the same time I know that I will not take on a child with disabilities that I wouldn't know how to handle since we are adopting older children, its not as though we would have them since birth and been able to adjust slowly to something. The kids that I have my eye on do not have any disabilities that I have read about, but they do have some emotional issues, after going through what they have been through and living in foster care and what not, I expect that any child we adopt will have emotional issues.

Ok, that's all for now, I am off to start getting ready to go!!

(Did I mention that we got a new couch! Its blue leather! And it was free!!)

Wedding Bells!

One week from tomorrow Paul and I will be re-married, not that we were ever unmarried but due to an error we are not 100% married. I am excited about the wedding, new friends Mandi and Tony will be joining us as well as Paul's brother David. We will always celebrate our first wedding anniversary as the real one.

It took me a while but I finally got a hold of someone to marry us. I had talked to one person who was going to do it for us for $250 at her home but after spending a week trying to get a hold of her again (we first talked about this back in March) and not getting through to her I said forget her and moved on. I called every judge in the area that does wedding and they were all either booked for the next several weeks or on vacation through August. Then I came across Cynthia online and gave her a call. That was that, we are all set for 7/30 at 1pm, at her home in North Tacoma, and for only $125!! It really seems like it was all meant to be. She sent me a list of different ring ceremonies and reminded me that this is a great time to renew our vows.

At first I didn't even think about renewing our vows. I mean I know that we want to at some point but now? Then I read through the vow options that Cynthia sent me, some were based on a couple and some were based on children and that got me thinking. This is a perfect time to renew our vows. We are opening a new chapter in our lives. Things have been going much better for us and we have really grown as individuals and as a couple, and a lot of the mistakes from our past are truly in our past and we can see them never happening again. No we are not perfect and we will never be, but we will always be perfect for each other.

As our new chapter in life opens we are looking forward to getting remarried next weekend, our adopt classes (15 days away, but who's counting...), moving into a larger and better home, the homestudy and adoption. The next 6 months for us is going to be huge and full of changes!

Story of hope!

Last night I spent some time reading through posts on the website www.circleofmoms.com, and some of them eased my fears and some of them created new fears. In reading one post where a couple had started their fost/adopt classes and started looking through a website similar to www.nwae.com and reading through the profiles of some children in their state that were available for adoption. They had fallen in love with the photos and the descriptions of 3 children that they thought would fit into their lives perfectly, but they were in the beginning steps of becoming certified and like me had fears that this process could take a long time due to the home study and background checks and what not.

Two weeks later, still with a long way to go, the woman couldn't stop herself and she inquired about the children. She learned that they had been in foster care for a few years and only two of them were living in the same home but that the 3 wanted to live together. Other families that were certified had inquired about the children but no further steps had been taken.

Another two weeks went by and the woman checked the website again and they were still there and her fost/adopt classes were done. This only put her at the half way point and they had a lot to do but she inquired about the children again and found that since her last inquiry that no one had asked about them again. She scrambled and started filling out stacks of forms and making appointments.

Nearly 6 weeks later the couple had finished everything and were waiting on the background checks to come back and then that would be that. She checked every week to see if the children were still there on the website, and they were. At the beginning of week 7 (after the fost/adopt classes) the background checks were in. The woman had been very detailed when writing about things that could come up in these checks (as they ask you to do) but they still wanted the couple to do an extra class due to something in her husbands background check.

The woman was in tears as she searched through the list of classes to find the next set of them. There was one that very night! With a heart full of hope she called but never got an answer. Desperate the couple showed up at the class and explained the situation and were permitted to take the class that would run the next 4 days, every night.

At the beginning of week 8 they made arrangements to meet with the children for dinner at McDonalds (one of the ones with a play area) on Wednesday night. The children had not seen each other in 3 weeks and at first were more interested in each other than the couple. An hour later they were all laughing and playing in a ball pit together. The social worker was very pleased and they made a date to spend time with the kids the next week but the social worker reminded them that these things take time.

That Friday the couple got a phone call from the social worker. The male child (who didn't live with his sister) was in the hospital with minor injuries as his foster home had burned to the ground that morning (electrical fire). The foster family did not have a place to take him and the social worker was looking for a place to take him. In the hospital the boy kept asking for the couple.

They went and picked him up from the hospital that night and a week later his two sisters moved in with the couple as well. The adoption was final on national adoption day of 2010.

Somethings are meant to be, you just need hope and to work hard toward your goal. Not all adoption placements happen this fast and this was a rare case, but I am in hopes that ours goes fast as well.

Getting Started

I think I have tried to write this blog a million times but I get scared and stop. Its something that I am trying to over come. You see, I fear that I may write this blog and then something will get in my way to stop us from creating our family. For me, this fear is reasonable since I have been trying to get pregnant and have our own babies for years and although I have been pregnant many times we still have no children.

It would seem that I have always known that I would need to adopt as this is not the first time that I have been on this path and attending adoption and foster care classes, but somethings and some relationships are not meant to be, so I know I stopped the classes before for a good reason. This time around, I know I am on the right path and with the right person, but yes, I am still scared that something will stop us, but I am very hopeful that nothing will and we are looking forward to being parents.

Our foster care and adoption classes start the first Saturday of August and then in September we have CPR classes, so things are still far off but seem so close at the same time. After our classes is when we will put in our official application for the fost/adopt program and start down the possible long path of getting approved and the scary moment of the background checks. I fear that we will have a lot of hoops to jump through when it comes to background checks, no that either of us have ever done anything that should keep us from adopting but it could make them look at us funny and they could require extra classes. Fingers crossed it all goes well.

The background checks are not our only major hurdle to get over, there is also the fact that we must move and that may be hard to do. As we know that we want to adopt at least 1 boy and 1 girl, our little 2 bedroom apartment will just not work. Of course there is also the fact that our apartment complex is not and has not done what they should as far as repairs are concerned. We still have a hole in our bathroom ceiling from a leak that came from the upstairs neighbors, water damaged carpets, and some of our neighbors are not people that we want our children around.

So moving will mean higher cost of rent and new furniture. But on the plus side, as we are moving in we can child proof things in the way that the home study requires and we can be sure that we don't miss anything, and that could make the home study go far faster!

We have so many thoughts for our future, maybe we will move back home to Nevada one of these years....