PROGRESS!!

We got a call from our social worker last night and we have meetings with her in two weeks! She is going to meet with us in her office first and we are meeting with her separately. I knew that she would do an interview with us one at a time but I thought it would be in our home. So I am a little relieved that it will not be in our home (although she will be coming over at some point). At the same time the individual interviews not being in our home make me a little nervous.

Personally I know that I will do fine in the interview and give all of the right answers. I am not trying to be cocky or think that I am perfect but I always interview well, I retain information really well, and I have been through one of these interviews before. My husband, however, gets nervous easy and you can see that nervousness all over his body. He might be better off if this was in our home where he is more comfortable. I am sure that all will be fine though. My interview is the day before his, so I can come home and go over the questions with him and help him prepare for his interview.

This is such a huge leap forward from where we have been and this means that we are getting very close to finishing our licensing process. Soon, we will be parents! (by soon I mean some time this year)

So whats left now? We still need to get all of our background check information in (we have Paul's, I am just finishing writing out a statement, and my letter is on the way to us and then I need to write out a statement). We have our first interviews scheduled for 2 weeks from now, and then its the home visit and that I think that just might be it!! All done! Of course, often times we have to do a second home visit because we could be missing something. I will be going over the check list and making sure that we have everything, anything that we are missing I will pick up when we get our income taxes back, likely to be February 1st. We will also be getting a van with our tax return. We cant wait for this new chapter in our lives to start!

Busy week ahead!!

I know its been a long time since I posted.....we have been trying to get everything together and figured out.

This week I am on vacation from work. I don't remember ever having a paid vacation before but I am putting it to good use. I will be spending the week finishing getting our house together for our homestudy and turning in our applications. This is going to be a very busy week!

My plans for today:

Watch CraigsList for stuff that we still need.
Rearrange our bedroom.
Figure out how we are going to have the dogs once we have kids (since 2 of them don't get along with 1)
Move all of our cleaning supplies into our bathroom.
Move all medications/vitamins into our bathroom.
Review information about what we need for our adoption.
Deep clean the apartment.
and on and on and on.....

Busy, Busy, Busy!

Things have been busy this last week and will only be getting busier.

We got into this really nice apartment complex and we move in next Friday. Paul may or may not have the day off. If he doesn't I am going to try to get as much done on my own (with out hurting myself) as I can. Crossing my fingers in hopes that he does get the day off.

Today is our CPR class and I am not looking forward to it. I don't know why but CPR class always made me uncomfortable, but we will do what we have to do. Also, my shoulder is messed up and causing a lot of pain and that could make class a little difficult. Not to mention making packing difficult and we have a lot of that to do to.



My shoulder seems to have been dislocated, either a little or all the way. The other night Paul rolled over in bed and on me and I woke him up a bit trying to get out from under him. He put his hands down on the bed like you would to do a push up and pushed himself up and over. One of his hands was not on the bed and was on my shoulder. It made two loud snapping noises and has been hurting ever since. Lucky for me a friend of my has muscle relaxers and they are helping a bit with cramped up muscles around the shoulder blade, I have been using a heart shaped heating pad to.

I still cant believe that we got into this apartment complex, its so nice and in a gated community. It has a pool, spa, dry sauna, tanning, indoor full sized basketball court, work out room, play grounds, wood burning fireplace, washer and dryer, its a three bedroom and we are going to be right next to the main play ground! Its perfect!! And it sort of makes me look forward to our homestudy rather than fearing it so much.

PRIDE Graduation!

Yesterday was our last class and we have graduated PRIDE training! I was feeling very nervous about that yesterday and for no reason, I was just afraid that something would happen and we would have to redo all or part of some of the classes. Not everyone in our class graduated and some have make up work to do, but we did it! We finally got through it! I had to turn in the PRIDE training book that I have been dragging around with me for a year but they did give us a disk of the book which will make it easier when I want to look something up. We still have a lot to do before we are ready to adopt though.




So whats next.....

Now the push is really on to get moved, we looked at an apartment yesterday, I really liked it, Paul didn't like some of the people that he saw in the complex. I didn't notice what he did. Its possible that I was overly focused on the great 3 bedroom apartment, fire place, 4 play grounds, 2 pools, hot tub, small gym and the fact that there is a YMCA near by. Some times I have blinders on and don't see everything around me. Which is why I really prefer looking at these places together.




We still have a lot that we need to do and a lot that we need to get. Its a little stressful but we have the big and hard part done. The rest is just following the process.

Our Current To Do List:

Find A New Place
Move
Pet Shots (we have a shot clinic today for the dogs)
Get Copies Of Divorce Decrees and New Marriage License
TB Tests
Physicals
Finish Paper Work and Turn It In (cant do until we have moved)
FBI Checks
Create House Rules & Discipline
Create Evacuation Plan (cant do until we have moved)
Make Lists Of Schools/Licensed Day Care (cant do until we have moved)
Car Insurance (we need something new and cheaper)


Things We Know We Need Once We Have Moved:

4 Beds (twin beds or bunk beds, no we don't want 4 kids but want to make sure we are prepared for anything)
4 Twin Sized Mattress Covers
4 Sets Of Twin Sized Bedding
4 Pillows
4 New Towels
4 Small Dressers or 2 Large Ones
First Aide Kit
CPR Mask
New Fire Extinguisher
Outlet Covers
2 Laundry Baskets
Locking Door Nob For Our Bedroom
A Way To Lock Up Cleaning Supplies
Toys, Clothes, Shoes, Books
The List Could Go On A Mile.


Today we are taking the dogs to get their shots, this should be fun since they are still not all getting along so we have to take separate cars and will need to pull out the muzzles. Also, we are going to look some more for rentals.

Feeling very nervous!

I don't know what the deal is, but I feel very nervous. Yesterday I finally got my Washington drivers license (the picture is really bad), and they made me take the written test since I hadn't taken it since I was 15, but I did get a 100% on the test. Today is our last adoption class. We expect it to be a longer class and there will be a panel of foster kids in the class today. Sunday we have the shot clinic for the dogs and we are going to go look at this super nice apartment complex that we have been talking about. Next weekend we start the CPR/First Aide/Blood Born Deceases classes.

I guess maybe its that everything is coming together and we are getting closer and closer to our homestudy which will lead to placement. We still have awhile (a few months) but its coming up quick. This month just flew by.

Whats getting to me right now is some work stuff, moving, finishing PRIDE class, pet shot clinics, saving money, our current apartment complex, CPR class, and of the homestudy that we are not even close to having yet. There is just so much that we need and so much that we need to do.

(oh, my arm lumps turned out to be torn muscles and mostly healed up now)

Feeling a little stressed this morning....

I have so much on my mind right now, all of the things that we need to get done and its giving me a real sense of stress and urgency even though it shouldn't. We still have two weeks of PRIDE classes left and then our first aide/CPR classes the next month and we still have other stuff to do to before we can even think about finishing our paper work and turning it in. Yet I feel stressed to move from this apartment like I have to do it right now. Really, the only reason that we are here is because its cheap and we can save money while we are living here so that we can move and do all of the other things that we need to do before we turn in our paper work. I just cant shake the stress of feeling like we need to be moved. I know deep down that when the time comes I will find us the right house at the right price. Just the other day I was talking to a guy about his rental and had him talked down from $1,500 for a deposit to $800. I really need to stop focusing so much on moving and really look into all of the other things we need to do, like getting our physicals done, getting the pets their shots, changing the oil in the car, and so on. Also adding to my stress at the moment is this odd lump in my arm, you cant see it, but I can feel it, its on the muscle and sore to the touch and hard. If it gets worse I may need to go to the doctor.

Today is the first day of our classes!

Last night I was super super sick. It started at work, I threw up once and then started feeling better, that is until we had dinner. After dinner I started having chills, sweating and my whole body hurt. I was terrified that I would feel like that this morning too. So I went to bed. I piled on the blankets and buried my head in them hoping for some sort of relief. A few hours later we were woken up by a super loud argument going on out side that felt like it lasted for hours, and I felt even worse. Then, after hours and hours of sleep (I went to bed around 6pm and got up at 5:30am, which is sleeping in for me) my alarm clock went off and I got up. I still have a headache and my back hurts (due to my bed) but I don't feel sick any more!!

This week went by so slow for me, knowing that the classes start today, but we are finally here. I talked to someone from the NWAE.org the other day and got some interesting information about what they do and how it all works, and that has me even more excited. There are kids on their site that I really like and that I want to meet. I haven't told Paul too much about them because he doesn't like to see something, get excited about it and then have it not work out. Until we get our classes done and the homestudy done there really isn't any reason to get to involved in looking at kids. The NWAE really makes it very easy and they are very helpful. They, like everyone else, did tell me about how its harder to adopt through foster care directly than it is to go through an agency. Although I do understand why they are saying that, its way cheaper (as in free) to adopt through the state and since I already have my eye on a set of kids that are on the NWAE website, that cuts out some of the hard stuff.

Yes, I am sure that it might be easier to hand over a wad of money to an agency and tell them to find you kids with certain qualities and let them match you up, but it makes much more sense to me to do this our way. We would rather save that wad of money to spend on kids and I would rather find them myself. As I learned from my Dad a long time ago, the easy way is not always the right way and many times is the wrong way. While looking through the children that are posted on sites like NWAE.org I try very hard to not look at their disabilities and things (should they have any) and try to focus on who they are. Doing it that way makes much more sense to me, after all, if I were pregnant, would we reject our child due to a disability. Of course at the same time I know that I will not take on a child with disabilities that I wouldn't know how to handle since we are adopting older children, its not as though we would have them since birth and been able to adjust slowly to something. The kids that I have my eye on do not have any disabilities that I have read about, but they do have some emotional issues, after going through what they have been through and living in foster care and what not, I expect that any child we adopt will have emotional issues.

Ok, that's all for now, I am off to start getting ready to go!!

(Did I mention that we got a new couch! Its blue leather! And it was free!!)

Wedding Bells!

One week from tomorrow Paul and I will be re-married, not that we were ever unmarried but due to an error we are not 100% married. I am excited about the wedding, new friends Mandi and Tony will be joining us as well as Paul's brother David. We will always celebrate our first wedding anniversary as the real one.

It took me a while but I finally got a hold of someone to marry us. I had talked to one person who was going to do it for us for $250 at her home but after spending a week trying to get a hold of her again (we first talked about this back in March) and not getting through to her I said forget her and moved on. I called every judge in the area that does wedding and they were all either booked for the next several weeks or on vacation through August. Then I came across Cynthia online and gave her a call. That was that, we are all set for 7/30 at 1pm, at her home in North Tacoma, and for only $125!! It really seems like it was all meant to be. She sent me a list of different ring ceremonies and reminded me that this is a great time to renew our vows.

At first I didn't even think about renewing our vows. I mean I know that we want to at some point but now? Then I read through the vow options that Cynthia sent me, some were based on a couple and some were based on children and that got me thinking. This is a perfect time to renew our vows. We are opening a new chapter in our lives. Things have been going much better for us and we have really grown as individuals and as a couple, and a lot of the mistakes from our past are truly in our past and we can see them never happening again. No we are not perfect and we will never be, but we will always be perfect for each other.

As our new chapter in life opens we are looking forward to getting remarried next weekend, our adopt classes (15 days away, but who's counting...), moving into a larger and better home, the homestudy and adoption. The next 6 months for us is going to be huge and full of changes!

No get up and go....

We didn't get a thing done yesterday..... I am super antsy and Paul is trying to understand why but doesn't seem to be be getting it. The best way I can explain it to him is the feeling of needing to do something. Unfortunately he sees this as me needing to go out and do something and although that's fun, that's nor really the issue.

Whats making me antsy is this big fat stack of paper work that's packed with personal questions and my fear that I might spell a word wrong or that the reader wont be able to read my writing or that Paul's forms might have bad grammar and miss spelled words and that no one will know what the heck we are writing.

I am antsy about sitting down with the social worker and talking. They will ask a lot of personal questions and I know that I will be nervous (since I am nervous just thinking about it now)and I want the social worker to see us for who we are. Seeing you for who you are may make some fost/adopt parents nervous but I feel that they need to see that of us. We are not always as we seem. Paul may be a clown and out going and laid back but what you don't see is that he is very organized, emotional, and thrives on structure. I am relaxed on the outside and as you see in my writings I am stressed on the inside, and I think that the easiest way to describe myself is by saying "organized chaos" and that's because I love to plan and have lists of things to do and I use a day planner and try to keep things going as smoothly as possible but......some times....life happens and I change everything in an instant and go a different way. I always keep the same goal but the route to get there is suddenly different.

And, don't forget about the homestudy its self when the social worker will inspect my house.....

Of course, when talking about me being antsy I cant leave out the fact that we have more than just the paperwork and homestudy to do. Before we get there we need to do the PRIDE classes (19 days till they start), we need to get re-married (planning for 7/30/11), I need to get my Washington state drivers license (next week), we need to save money to move (we started this week and have over $100 after paying bills, that's a good start for us), we need to move (ug, finding a place with our credit is hard to do and finding a place that we can afford is just as hard but I am looking already) and then we need stuff.....beds, dressers, toys, home safety equipment and more.

So what can I do now to ease my anxiousness, well, I am going to get started on the paperwork today, going to clean my already clean house, do laundry, clean the rat cage, look at profiles of kids online (there are a couple of kids that I am super interested in) and search for paperwork that we need but have miss placed, and I will also send off for paperwork on my divorces!

Taking a look at a real time line that may be possible, August - PRIDE classes, September - CPR/first aide classes, get everything together for the application, Mid September to Early October - move and turn in application (likely to turn in application as soon as we have a move in date rather than waiting till we are moved in), October - homestudy, November - placement. Yes that's right, 4 short months. Paul talks about this like its a long time from now, and I see his point, that's in 4 months but something keeps chiming in my head "THAT'S IN 4 MONTHS" Wow.....4 months. Yes this process could take a little longer, yes would could have more classes and things to do, but yes it could go faster too....

Ok, trying to find my get up and go. Going to work on some paperwork.....

20 Days Till PRIDE Classes!

We are only 20 days from the start of our PRIDE classes and I am beyond anxious. Not just about the classes but with all of the questions that I have and how fast can we make the process go and we have to move and we have soooooo much left to do. I know, we are at least, the very very least 2-3 months from having children in our home, but I cant keep my mind off it. Day and night I think about ways to try to ensure that everything is perfect for the homestudy and having everything in place.

Its a scary thought to realize that we will soon be parents. I use the word "soon" loosely, as Paul keeps pointing out that we are still months from becoming parents. Of course, being the type of person that I am, I like to think about the future a lot and make plans for things that could be over a year away. When riding in the car I often let my thoughts float off and think about what it will be like to drive back to Nevada with our children. Of course, I know that plans change and I am ok with that too. Even our move from Nevada to Washington didn't go as planned, but it worked and we changed the plan around as things happened to change it. That's the way it goes sometimes.

My plan for the day is to make linguica for breakfast, then do some work on our fost/adopt application, and look at some rentals online. I also plan to create a wish list of sorts of things that we need for homestudy and for our children's rooms. That's something that I will likely post here in case someone has something on the list that they are no longer using that we need.