I know that there are people out there that don't understand why I am so upset right now, its my birthday so I should be happy right? If you think that then your nuts!
34, yes that's right I am really really in my mid thirties and I am disgusted by it. No, I didn't wake up this morning and find gray hair. No, I don't feel like I look or feel my age. And no, I am not a Mom nor will my children (should I ever have any through adoption or natural) be my Dad's first grandchildren even though I am his only child.
I feel wronged and as though something has been stolen from me and its not the first time either. All of the things that should have been me are someone else and they don't care. No, I don't feel like they are currently intentionally rubbing it in my face but when I see pictures of my Dad in a t-shirt that says "grandpa" on it, it hurts me because that's not me, my child, or a genetic relation. I feel like my family has been ripped from me and although they know I exist they cut me out of their lives a little more everyday. All I really want is family, that connection, and I don't have it and I don't think that I ever will.
Life just isn't fair.
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